How to use love affirmations to get the love you want and improve your relationships with a free 30 day love affirmation challenge
What are love affirmations?
Love affirmations are positive statements or declarations that you repeat to yourself to cultivate more self-love, self-acceptance, and a positive outlook on love and relationships. They can help you to focus on the good in yourself and others, increase your capacity to give and receive love in your life, and to overcome any negative thoughts or beliefs that may be holding you back from experiencing the love and connection that you desire.
When you repeat love affirmations, you transform your deeply held negative beliefs and attitudes that would have held you back. Instead, you replace them with positive affirmations that will cultivate a more positive and loving attitude toward yourself, as well as toward others.
How do affirmations work?
Affirmations are based on the following principles:
- The way you perceive and experience the world around you is closely linked to the thoughts and beliefs that occupy your mind most frequently. In other words, your dominant mental patterns are often mirrored in the external circumstances and events that you encounter in your daily life.
- Altering the content and quality of your thoughts can lead to a transformation in the way you experience and interact with the world. By consciously modifying your mental patterns and perspectives, you have the potential to shape your reality in a significant way. In essence, your thoughts have the power to create your reality.
How to create love affirmations
Using affirmations to improve your love life is a simple and effective process.
1) Pick an area of your love life that needs healing. This could relate to a specific relationship, the lack of a relationship, or specific issues that are preventing you from enjoying a healthy and loving relationship. For example, let’s say you are trying to get over a breakup and dealing with anger, resentment, loneliness, sadness, or other negative feelings that you are ready to release.
2) How would you like that area of your life to look? If you could get anything you wanted, what would it be? How would you feel? In the example above, let’s assume you want to release anger and negative feelings and replace them with love and optimism.
3) Describe the desired outcome in the first person, in a positive way, and in the present tense.
- Use positive language: don’t say, “I am not angry”. Instead, say “I am calm/happy/content”. When you use negative words, your subconscious mind focuses on them and that defeats the purpose.
- Use present tense: don’t say, “I will be calm/happy/content”. Instead, say “I am calm/happy/content”.
4) Experience how you want to feel right now. When you repeat your affirmation, imagine yourself feeling the exact emotion you want to feel. If you want to feel content then visualize yourself feeling content. Try to evoke the emotions you want to feel. If you cannot do this then you might need to change your affirmation. If it feels too far-fetched for you then start with something you can relate to and actually feel. For example, if you cannot say “I am happy” and mean it then say “I am satisfied”.
5) Repeat your affirmation every day. It is important to repeat affirmations each day in order to reprogram the subconscious mind and shift limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns.
6) Incorporate gratitude into your affirmations. When you give gratitude your affirmations are way more powerful. You can give gratitude in the present for something you will receive in the future. For example, if you are trying to manifest a relationship you can say: “Thank you for sending my perfect partner to me. We are in a loving relationship and I feel loved and happy”. See gratitude affirmations.
Use the following affirmation creator to help you create the ideal affirmation.
Sample affirmations of love
Remember, affirmations for love are most effective when they are personalized and aligned with your values and beliefs. You can customize these affirmations to fit your specific needs and desires for your relationships. These are only examples.
You can use affirmations for marriage to improve your marriage or to manifest a marriage (see affirmations to attract love below).
- My marriage is a source of joy and fulfillment in my life.
- I am grateful for the love and support of my partner in our marriage.
- We communicate openly and lovingly with each other.
- Our marriage is built on a strong foundation of trust and respect.
- We grow and evolve together in our marriage.
- Our love for each other deepens with each passing day.
- We approach challenges in our marriage with patience and understanding.
- We prioritize each other and make time for our marriage.
- Our marriage is a partnership of equals, with each of us bringing unique strengths and qualities.
- Our marriage is a safe and supportive space for us to be our true selves.
Here are some sample positive affirmations for relationships.
- I am worthy of a loving and fulfilling relationship.
- I attract positive and loving relationships into my life.
- I communicate honestly and openly in my relationships.
- My relationships are built on a foundation of trust and mutual respect.
- I am surrounded by supportive and uplifting people in my relationships.
- I am capable of giving and receiving love in my relationships.
- I am committed to growth and evolution in my relationships.
- I let go of past relationship hurts and move forward with an open heart.
- I prioritize my relationships and make time for the people I care about.
- I am grateful for the love and connection I experience in my relationships.
Love manifestation affirmations
These are affirmations for finding love.
- Love flows to me easily and effortlessly.
- I am worthy of a loving and fulfilling relationship.
- I trust that the universe is bringing me the perfect partner for me.
- My heart is open and ready to receive love.
- I attract love into my life by being my authentic self.
- I am grateful for the love and connection in my life.
- I am deserving of a loving and committed partnership.
- I am attracting a partner who aligns with my values and vision for the future.
- I am confident in my ability to manifest the love and relationship I desire.
- I love and accept myself just as I am.
- I am worthy of love and respect from myself and others.
- I treat myself with kindness and compassion.
- I trust and honor my intuition and inner wisdom.
- I am enough just as I am, and I don’t need to change to be loved.
- I am deserving of my own love and affection.
- I embrace my strengths and weaknesses, knowing that they make me unique.
- I forgive myself for any mistakes or shortcomings, and learn from them.
- I prioritize self-care and make time for activities that bring me joy and peace.
- I am grateful for the person I am and the journey that brought me here.
Affirmations to Attract Love
- I am worthy of love and I deserve to be loved fully and completely.
- I am attracting a loving and supportive partner into my life.
- I am ready and open to receiving love in all forms.
- My heart is open and ready to give and receive love.
- I am surrounded by love and positive energy, and this attracts loving people into my life.
- I trust that the universe will bring me the perfect partner at the right time.
- I am creating a loving and harmonious relationship with my partner.
- I love and accept myself fully, and this attracts love and acceptance from others.
- I radiate love and positivity, and this attracts love and positivity back to me.
- I am grateful for the love in my life and look forward to experiencing even more love and joy in the future.
Love Affirmations for a Specific Person
- I am grateful for the love and connection I share with [person’s name].
- Our love grows stronger and deeper with each passing day.
- I trust that our relationship is unfolding perfectly and in divine timing.
- I am worthy of the love and affection that [person’s name] shows me.
- Our love is filled with joy, laughter, and positive energy.
- I am fully present and engaged in my relationship with [person’s name].
- Our love is based on mutual respect, trust, and understanding.
- I am open to receiving and giving love in all forms.
- Our connection is filled with love, passion, and genuine care for each other.
- I release any fears or doubts about our relationship, and trust in the power of love to guide us.
How to use the affirmations
Once you have created the perfect affirmation it is time to repeat it. The more you repeat it the more effective it will be.
- Create affirmation wallpaper. We offer a free app that will help you do this.
- Create positive affirmation cards. Use our free app. You can then place copies on your walls, cupboards, bathroom mirror, doors, fridge, or anywhere where you will see them often.
- Write them in your free affirmation journal.
- Record yourself repeating your affirmation and listen to it often.
When do love affirmations not work?
While affirmations can be a powerful tool for cultivating love and improving relationships, there are some situations where they may not work as well. Here are a few examples:
- When you repeat affirmations that feel untrue or unrealistic to you, it can create resistance and reinforce negative beliefs instead of shifting them.
- Lack of repetition: When you don’t repeat them often enough.
- Lack of action: Affirmations are most effective when combined with action. If you are not taking action towards creating the loving relationships you desire, affirmations alone may not be enough to manifest those desires.
- Negative beliefs: Negative beliefs about love, relationships, and self-worth can undermine the effectiveness of love affirmations. If you have deep-seated negative beliefs about love or relationships, it may be helpful to work through those beliefs with a therapist or coach before using affirmations.
- Resistance to change: Our subconscious minds are wired to resist change, even when that change is positive. If you have resistance to changing your beliefs or habits around love and relationships, affirmations may not be enough to overcome that resistance.
- Lack of alignment: Love affirmations must align with your core values and beliefs. If an affirmation feels inauthentic or goes against your values, it may not resonate with you and may not be effective.
- External factors: There may be external factors that are impacting your ability to manifest the loving relationships you desire, such as toxic relationships, difficult life circumstances, or a lack of support. In these situations, affirmations alone may not be enough to create the changes you desire.
Affirmations for love can be a powerful tool for getting the love you want, but they are not a magic solution for all relationship problems. It’s important to combine affirmations with action, address negative beliefs and resistance, ensure alignment with your values, and address any external factors that may be impacting your ability to manifest the love and relationships you desire.
Words of Affirmation Love Language
According to Gary Chapman, author of “The Five Love Languages“, the reason that so many people fail to keep love alive in the long term is because people speak different love languages. The problem arises if your emotional love language and the language of your spouse is different. In this case, you must be willing to learn your spouse’s primary love language if you are to be effective communicators of love. According to the author, there are five emotional love languages (five ways that people speak and understand emotional love). Once you identify and learn to speak your spouse’s primary love language, the author believes that you will have discovered the key to long-lasting love. In order to keep love alive most of us will have to put forth the effort to learn a secondary love language.
When we do not speak our partner’s love language then our behavior changes as a result and the relationship deteriorates.
When we first fall in love, we are emotionally obsessed with each other. We think about each other all day and want to spend as much time together as possible. The person who is “in love” has the illusion that his beloved is perfect.
When this stage wears off, we start to recognize that some of our partners personality traits are actually irritating. Those little traits that we overlooked when we were in love now become huge obstacles
When you reach this stage, many people decide that they need to break up or live with each other’s faults. The author explains that there is a better alternative: We can recognize the in-love experience for what it was–a temporary emotional high–and now pursue “real love” with our partner.
Affirmation Love Language
The first Love Language is “Words of Affirmation”. Words of affirmation are one of the five basic love languages. However, within this language there are many dialects. All of the dialects use words to communicate love to your spouse. One way to express love emotionally is to use words that verbally affirm each other. There are many different ways to do this such as:
Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation
These are powerful communicators of love. They are best expressed in simple, straightforward statements of affirmation, such as: “You look good in that dress.” “I really appreciate that you washed the dishes tonight.”
Encouraging words are words that give people courage. We all suffer from some insecurities and words of encouragement can make us feel inspired to do something. Most people don’t reach their full potential because of a lack of courage. Words of encouragement from a loving spouse can help give us the courage we need to reach our goals.
Love is kind so if we are to communicate love verbally we must use kind words that are said with kindness and tenderness. The way we say words is as important as what we say.
Love makes requests, not demands. It is important to be aware of each other’s desires and needs. However, the way we express those desires is very important. If they come across as demands, we will drive our spouse away. If, however, we make known our needs and desires as requests, we are giving guidance, not ultimatums.
Words of Affirmation Love Language Examples
If your spouse’s language of love is words of affirmation then use words to affirm your love or write a love letter. Sincerity is the crucial element that makes love affirmations meaningful.
In “The 5 Love Languages for Men”, Gary Chapman distinguishes between flattery and affirmation. Chapman stresses that flattery is not a dialect of the words of affirmation love language and flattery will get you nowhere. Flattery and love affirmations may sound similar, but there are several distinct—and important—differences between them. Flattery is a form of communication that seeks to manipulate others by appealing to their vanity or ego, and it often comes with an ulterior motive or hidden agenda. Its ultimate aim is often to get something from the person being flattered. Unlike meaningful affirmations that require sincerity, flattery is insincere because it often involves complimenting someone with an ulterior motive or hidden agenda.
You have to believe what you say. Use your intimate knowledge of the person being affirmed to say something sincere and loving.
Here are some examples:
- “I love you” – This simple statement can be a powerful affirmation of love.
- “I appreciate everything you do for me” – This can show gratitude and appreciation for the effort your partner puts into the relationship.
- “You are beautiful/handsome/gorgeous” – Complimenting your partner’s physical appearance can make them feel desired and attractive.
- “I am proud of you” – This affirmation can be used to show admiration and support for your partner’s accomplishments.
- “I admire your strength and resilience” – This can be a powerful affirmation of your partner’s character and inner strength.
- “I feel so lucky to have you in my life” – This can express a deep sense of gratitude and appreciation for your partner’s presence in your life.
- “I trust you completely” – This can show that you have faith in your partner’s honesty and integrity.
- “You make me feel loved and valued” – This can express how your partner’s actions and words make you feel in the relationship.
- “I am here for you, no matter what” – This can be a powerful affirmation of your commitment to your partner and the relationship.
- “You inspire me to be a better person” – This can show how your partner’s qualities and actions motivate you to be your best self.
30 Day Love Affirmation Challenge
Affirmations need to be repeated consistently in order to be effective. This 30-day challenge will help you be consistent in order to reap the benefits of affirmations for love.