Questions to Ask Your Partner

The right question turns an ordinary evening into the kind of conversation you remember. Whether you have been together a few weeks or a few decades, asking your partner something you have never asked before is one of the simplest ways to feel close again.

Below you will find more than two hundred questions to ask your partner, sorted by mood — light and funny, thoughtful and deep, sweet and romantic, and, for couples over eighteen, spicy and intimate. Read straight through, or use the free game above to have the questions chosen for the two of you and take turns answering on a timer.

How to use these questions

You do not need a special occasion. Pick a category that matches your mood, choose three or four questions, and take turns answering. The trick is to actually listen, then ask one follow-up before moving on — that follow-up is usually where the real conversation lives.

If deciding what to ask feels like work, the game at the top of this page does it for you. You each pick the topics you are curious about and how open you want to be, and it builds a shared set, then walks you through it one turn at a time.

Fun questions to ask your partner

Light questions are the easiest place to start, especially if one of you is tired or the day has been heavy. They lower the stakes and almost always lead somewhere unexpected.

• If we could teleport anywhere right now for dinner, where are we going?
• What is the weirdest food combination you secretly love?
• If our life together were a movie, what would the title and genre be?
• Describe me using only three emojis — which ones?
• What is the most embarrassing song on your playlist?
• If we won the lottery tomorrow, what is the first ridiculous thing we would buy?
• What animal would you be, and would we get along?
• What is your go-to karaoke song, no judgment?
• If you could instantly master one completely useless talent, what would it be?
• What is the funniest misunderstanding we have ever had?

Deep questions to ask your partner

Deep questions ask your partner to show you something true about themselves. Give them room to think, and resist the urge to fill silences — people reveal the most after a pause.

• When do you feel most like yourself around me?
• What is a fear you do not talk about often?
• What does the word home mean to you, beyond a place?
• What is something you needed to hear as a child that you never did?
• How do you most want to be comforted when you are struggling?
• What is a value you would never compromise on?
• What does forgiveness look like to you?
• What is a dream you have quietly set aside, and why?
• How has your idea of love changed over time?
• When do you feel most loved — through words, time, touch, or gestures?

Romantic questions to ask your partner

These are the questions that remind you both why you chose each other. They work just as well on a first anniversary as a fortieth.

• What was the moment you knew you wanted to be with me?
• What is your favorite memory of us so far?
• What small thing do I do that makes you feel loved?
• Where do you picture us five years from now?
• What is something you would love for us to do together that we have not yet?
• What song reminds you of us?
• What is one way I could love you better this month?
• What first attracted you to me, and what keeps you here now?

Spicy questions to ask your partner

These questions are for couples who are both over eighteen and want to flirt and turn up the heat. Keep it playful, and let either person skip anything they are not in the mood for.

• What is something you have wanted to try together but have not brought up?
• What is the most attractive thing I do without realizing it?
• What is a memory of us that still makes you blush?
• What is your favorite kind of flirting — bold or subtle?
• What instantly turns an ordinary night into a memorable one?

Intimate questions to ask your partner

Intimate questions are about closeness and honesty more than anything physical. They are best saved for a relationship where you both already feel safe. These are written for adults.

• What makes you feel most desired by me?
• Is there something you have been wanting more of between us?
• How can I make you feel safer being vulnerable with me?
• What is a need you have had a hard time asking for?
• What is one thing that would make you feel more connected to me?

Questions for new couples versus long-term couples

How long you have been together changes what lands. Newer couples do well with get-to-know-you and fun questions — who shaped you, what a perfect lazy day looks like, what you wanted to be at ten years old. Couples who have built a history together can go further into the past and the future: what you are most proud of as a team, what tradition you want to start, where you see yourselves in five years. The game above adjusts automatically once you tell it how long you have known each other.

A note on age

Match the questions to where you are. For teen and younger couples, the get-to-know-you, fun, deep, and sweet romantic questions above are the right fit, and the spicy and intimate lists are written for adults only. The game enforces this automatically and only offers the adult categories when both players enter an age of eighteen or older.

Make it a habit, not a one-off

The couples who stay curious about each other are the ones who keep asking. Bookmark this page, keep the game handy for a slow evening, and pick a fresh category whenever conversation starts to run on autopilot. If you are planning a date around it, our date ideas hub has more ways to spend the evening together.